I was born on 16th September, 1938, in Goole. My spiritual journey started when I was aged twelve. I was sitting on a bus on Chanterlands Avenue, Hull, heading for Park Avenue and the Junior College of Arts and Crafts, wondering ‘what’s this life all about’?

Mam, Dad and some family traits

I was an only child. My mother, Gladys Gwendoline, gave birth to a little girl, but she was what they used to call a ‘blue baby’. She died at birth. She was not given a name but I prayed for her soul every morning.

My parents never really talked about religion. My father, George Edward, once said that he had a thought about reincarnation – that we are reincarnated on different planets throughout the universe! It’s strange how we all live in perceived reality. Until quite recently, I believed that my father disowned his parents, then one of my cousins told me that it was the other way round. Apparently dad went gambling on a Sunday instead of attending church and as a result he was disowned. I never met my paternal grandparents, Esther and Mark, but I came to understand that Esther was a devout Christian, just like my dad’s sister. Mark, I was told, lost a leg while working on the railway. Unfortunately he spent most of the compensation money on drink and became an alcoholic. He was also a depressive person. My dad’s brother, Henry, maintained contact with him. He had six children, the last two, Barry and Beryl, being twins. Sadly, Beryl died at birth. The eldest two, Brian and Colin, both committed suicide. Brian was 22 at the time and serving in the Royal Navy. Colin took his own life at the age of 50, so perhaps in my genes I have depression from Mark and spirituality from Esther.

On my mother’s side, the Brownings, my grandparents were Lillian and Albert, who lived in Goole. I never saw a great deal of Albert. My grandmother and some of my aunties were rather fey. My auntie Brenda has two daughters who are Jehovah’s Witnesses. My aunt Ivy was a staunch Methodist so my spiritual side owes much to my mam’s family. My dad passed away in 1964 at the age of 56. My mam remarried but passed away in 1969 at the age of 54.

 

Back to my history

My spiritual journey went on the back burner for a while. I was engaged to a girl called Joan. In the late 1950s I was called up for compulsory military service, and assigned to the Royal Engineers. Stupidly I signed on for three years as I understood it meant better pay. I say ‘stupidly’ because three years turned out to be too long for Joan to wait. Perhaps inevitably she met someone else and I became the recipient of the dreaded ‘Dear John’ letter. I recall saying to the padre: “When you’re dead you’re dead”. At the time, the military was involved in a conflict with EOKA (a Greek Cypriot nationalist guerrilla organisation) in Cyprus. I wasn’t concerned about being shot. However, when my parents died the depressive side of the Dowson family came into play and for a while I contemplated suicide. Then, a strange personal logic took me over. I thought that if there isn’t such a thing as life after death then I will never have known in this mortal life that there was a life beyond. Yet again, if there is life after death I might be punished for taking my life. One day, while wallpapering, I remember thinking quite deeply about the subject. It was one of those personal meditations, the depth of which is impossible to put into words. When I later embraced the Bahá’í Faith, I found I had been given a life purpose and my suicidal thoughts faded much more into the background.

 

Jobs, marriage and an emergent career

It was at this time that I was working for Eddie and Malcolm, the Healey brothers of Hull. They became owners of Meadowhall, the huge shopping complex near the M1 motorway close to Sheffield. Eddie was more of an acquaintance than a friend. The brothers became billionaires. I often think what might have happened if I had been able to meet up with them to tell them about the Faith. Through my work with the Healey brothers I found myself based in Grantham where I was to meet my lovely wife, Shirley (Shirl) in 1976.

After leaving school at the age of fifteen I had many jobs, including selling ice cream, manufacturing toilet fixtures, providing equipment for ships at a ship’s chandlers, creating artistic displays for department stores, and everything in between. After taking career advice I became attracted to mental health nursing, eventually becoming a staff nurse. I thought that becoming a mental health nurse might enable me to understand better my own waves of depression, perhaps even the meaning of life! I think my own inner battles have enabled me to relate to and have compassion for my patients. One of the lessons I learned is that there have to be contrasts in life to understand the reality of things in this physical world – health without disease, light without darkness for example. I see now, as a Bahá’í, that there are spiritual parallels here too.

 

Encountering the Faith

Poor Shirl, she had married this bloke who was interested in Uri Geller, reincarnation and spiritualism! By this time she had become a ward clerk at Grantham Hospital where she introduced me to a nurse, Pat Clark, who was a Bahá’í. Pat loaned me John Esslemont’s book, Bahá’u’lláh and the New Era, which got me interested. Then Pat organised for Joe Foster to give a talk on the Faith at the Guildhall in Grantham. The night before the meeting I had a dream that Muhammad said to me ‘Don’t think! Be!’. Next day I declared myself a Bahá’í! It was May 1979 so I have been a Bahá’í for nearly 40 years.

Before I met Shirl she had been helping to organise ‘the adventurers’ for young children at St Wulfram’s church in Grantham. After we married, she was not quite so active with the church. Though she never became a Bahá’í, she would often explain progressive revelation to friends. There were certain things that prevented her from fully embracing the Faith, most notably the stance on homosexuality, the idea that the supreme institution should be restricted to men in an age of equality, and the avoidance of involvement in party politics. Shirl’s father was a staunch Labour Party supporter and a trade unionist. He knew Margaret Thatcher’s father. Shirl went to the same school as Margaret Thatcher (Kesteven and Grantham Girls School) but not at the same time as Madeline Hellaby who was joint head girl with the person who became Prime Minister and was known as ‘Mrs T’. However, Shirl supported my involvement in Bahá’í activities and attended unity feasts. From time to time I was able to visit Bahá’í friends in Nottingham, Leicester and Lincoln. As an isolated believer for many years I found it very uplifting to welcome Bahá’í visitors to our home and I especially recall the enjoyable visits of Clive Tully when he was able to free up time from his supply teaching in the area.

I have been fortunate to have had opportunities to visit some very special places later in my life. In November 1992 I had the good fortune to attend the World Congress in New York. Meeting thousands of Bahá’ís from all over the world was an awe-inspiring experience. The sessions, the talks, the music and the entire vibe were uplifting and unforgettable. I have to admit though, between sessions, my other worldly interests as an amateur artist led me to visit the Metropolitan Arts Centre and the Guggenheim Art Museum.

In March 1996 I had the joy of going on pilgrimage to the Bahá’í World Centre in Haifa. Shirl stayed in the UK. I missed her very much but phone calls kept us in touch and somehow gave me the feeling that she was by my side on my journey. I kept a daily diary whilst I was in Haifa. Looking through this, I see that I summarised my overwhelming feelings and emotions on my return in the following words: ‘It is now a full week since I returned from Pilgrimage in Haifa, from nine days of awe, nine days of wonder, nine days of tears, of humility, of joy, nine days of indescribable spirituality. I feel that I have entered the City of Certitude and that I belong to something of tremendous beauty, of power, of love, and that because of Bahá’u’lláh the future will be well.  No words can adequately describe my feelings about this Pilgrimage….’.    Later, in 2003, 2008 and 2011, I travelled to the United States with Shirl to spend some time with her cousin Keith, which was lovely. It was my good fortune that Keith lived close to Wilmette, so I was able to visit the wonderful Bahá’í House of Worship, which I did on three occasions.

What I brought away from these experiences was a deepened understanding of life’s purpose and its role in helping me to fathom the relationship between physical and spiritual worlds. It helped me put into perspective my own life goals and grander processes like progressive revelation – how through the Divine Teachers we are enabled to carry forward an ever-advancing civilisation.

I was now an isolated believer in Grantham, occasionally seeing Bahá’í friends in Oakham, Lincoln and Nottingham. Then Gordon and Margaret Grant moved into a village about nine miles away. They started monthly meditation evenings at their home. Shirl and I attended regularly along with two of her long-term friends, Joanie and Pam. These gatherings were in three parts – meditation, discussion on a spiritual theme, then food and a good chat. So now I was part of a group of three. Prior to the arrival of the Grants I tried to be active, but my understanding of what Bahá’u’lláh taught was that if it is a choice between the Faith and one’s loved one, the loved one comes first, so I was not as active as I would like to have been. However Shirl was a great support to me. After battling over many months with dementia, my lovely wife Shirl entered the Abhá Kingdom on 11 December 2017.

 

Fresh opportunities

At the time of writing (September 2018) I have been visiting lots of local churches, including the main parish church, a Methodist chapel, a Jehovah’s Witness Kingdom Hall, a Quaker Meeting House, an Alive church, a Seventh Day Adventist church and another church near home whose title I cannot recall! It has given me the opportunity to tell many people about the Faith. It has been fascinating to learn about the many interpretations of the second coming of Christ. Some believe that Christ will literally appear through the clouds. Many appear not to have given it much thought, assuming that they will know in their hearts when it happens. I recently had a conversation with the minister at St Wulfram’s Church and said how hard it must be for people to understand the second coming in light of so many perspectives and beliefs about the matter. I am reminded of similar and worse reactions Jesus faced when confronted by the Pharisees and the Sanhedrin. However, the circumstances gave me the opportunity to present the minister with a book about Bahá’u’lláh which he said he would read.

Since Shirl died I find I have a lot more time on my hands. I get up at 7.15 am. After showering, and feeding the birds, I spend time in spiritual solitude, saying prayers, communing with God and reading as many books as I can about all the Manifestations of God. This typically takes me to 9.30 or 10.00.am. and is, for me, the most wonderful time of day, even beating ‘Match of the Day’!  One of my very favourite prayers is the one that begins ‘From the sweet-scented streams of Thine eternity give me to drink, O My God’. This beautiful prayer, along with others, I know by heart.

 

Strengthened family ties and a final hope

Of late, during my dear wife Shirley’s battle with dementia, I have grown closer to my stepsons and their families. I have relied particularly on family members who live nearer to me – Nick, his wife Della and step-grandchildren, Dominic and Ruth, who have made every effort to bolster and cheer me in grieving and in facing my own physical deterioration in the face of an inoperable tumour.

I know that I have been a thorn in the side of family members who are agnostic or atheist by inclination and/or conviction. I fear I have wearied them in my efforts to persuade them to look beyond both the ‘big bang’ and a world without a Creator. However, it has never prevented me from feeling unbounded love and affection for them all.

It is not often that I get to have the last word, but someone recently asked me what I would love to do once I have passed into the next realm. I did not have to think very hard about that. I would love to inspire people in their search for faith.

____________________

 

Peter Dowson 

Lincolnshire, 2017-18

Peter passed to the Abhá Kingdom on Monday 28th January 2019. He is buried at Grantham Cemetery.

The above was kindly edited on behalf of Peter Dowson by Gordon and Margaret Grant (Grantham, Lincolnshire)