Charles in 2009

In 2004, in my mid 30s, life seemed great – happily turning an inwardly blind eye to my obesity, alcohol problems and steadfast atheism. As I strolled along the outskirts of Hemel Hempstead, pondering the Da Vinci Code, of all things, a car drove past with the number plate ‘B1GG5Y’, which made me chuckle as there was the most wonderful, dearly loved pupil in the school where I was teacher whose nickname actually was Biggsy. Only 5 minutes later, in Hemel Hempstead’s glorious town centre, who did I bump into but ‘Biggsy’s’ mother (‘Tina’), a delightful lady with strong spiritual leanings. Amazingly, she invited me to supper that very evening, an invitation which I accepted with alacrity. While there, she lent me one of those American ‘self-help’ books which had, hidden in its depths, a 2 page chapter on ‘religion’. All it said was to open up one’s mind to the principle that one would be happier if one could accept the concept of a Higher Power. Having grown up in the British private school education system with the subliminal binary choice of ‘Church of England or Hell’, this came as something of a revelation and feeling a tad like Saul falling off a horse and waking up as Paul, I could suddenly see a light. But where to go from there?

As I mulled this over during the next few months, at school I accosted a boy in Year 6, ‘Jim’, wearing a necklace, in clear breach of the school’s jewellery-wearing rules. He explained that it was a Baha’i necklace and of course I asked for further information. However, after reading a couple of books lent by Jim’s father on the Faith, it didn’t really connect, so I filed away this kernel of information and instead pursued another spiritual route loosely based around the Upanishads and the importance of living in the ‘now’, going to weekly classes . A few months later, Jim’s father pinned up an invitation in the Staff Room to ‘spiritual classes’ (it turned out to be to a Ruhi Book 1!) which didn’t interest me, but I banked the thought. In the meantime, I met a beautiful lady – whom I married 6 years later, faced and defeated my alcoholism during one dramatic weekend, and by the end of 2004 my life had already completely changed in every way.

I continued to attend the weekly Upanishad classes for a couple of years until September 2006 when I lay on my bed, totally unable to face going back to them. I remembered the invitation from Jim’s father in the Staff Room and called him there and then. As it happened, God moving in mysterious ways, as his phone rang, he had just walked through the door from a holiday abroad – 5 minutes earlier and my life might have been completely different. We started talking about the Faith and in just 2 weeks I declared, knowing that my spiritual journey had finally reached the key turning point.

From then on it was onwards and upwards, I will spare you the boring details. Except one.

In 2009 I went on Pilgrimage and while there I rang up Tina to thank her for being the one to initiate this spiritual path. We hadn’t spoken for some time and was thrilled to tell me that she had just seen the ‘B1GG5Y’ number plate for the first time only the day before. I asked her at what time that had happened. The answer was the final word. The car had passed her eyes at the same moment that I was entering the Shrine of The Bab. Coincidence? Not for me.

Now, 17+ years have past since the journey started and I shudder to think what might have been had things continued to run their wayward course. Now at my school I am in charge of the daily Chapel services so no pupil can escape the steady drip-drip-drip message of Progressive Revelation that I have introduced into the daily readings and prayers. The RS teachers are all on board and Management love the inclusivity that they can explain with pride to present and prospective parents.

Every day is a blessing and whenever we sing the hymn Lead Kindly Light in Chapel, I feel so blessed. I will leave you with the words, which say things so much better than I could hope to.

Lead, kindly light, amid the encircling gloom,

Lead thou me on;

The night is dark, and I am far from home;

Lead thou me on;

Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see

The distant scene: one step enough for me.

I was not ever thus, nor prayed that thou

Shouldst lead me on;

I loved to choose, and see my path; but now

Lead thou me on.

I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears,

Pride ruled my will: remember not past years.

So long thy power hath blest me, sure it still

Will lead me on,

O’er moor and fen, o’er crag and torrent, till

The night is gone,

And with the morn those angel faces smile,

Which I have loved long since, and lost a while.

____________________

Charles Phillips

April 2021