Finding the Path

My parents met and married in the Sudan and I was born there in Atbara (known as the ‘Railway City’) in River Nile State in the north east of the country. My grandfather worked for the Sudanese railways and my father was an irrigation engineer. My mother joined her parents there when she left school at 17. We lived in the middle of nowhere and my only playmate was my older brother. I have few memories of it though my mother has a huge number of stories and I can never work out what is my memory or the memory of her stories about that time.

__________

My sister-in-law, Judy Finlay, was the first person to mention the Bahá’í Faith to me. She asked me if I knew anything about it. I had never heard of it. This was the early 90s and I was in my 40s. Over the next year or so Judy learned more about the Faith and passed on the information. I questioned, argued, dismissed it as not being for me. All through this time Judy was going through difficult and painful trials. She was obviously becoming more involved with these Bahá’ís. They seemed to be supporting her, giving her comfort but more importantly, strength and courage during these trying times……but, were they a strange sect of religious fanatics? Were they going to steal away my lovely sister-in-law and precious nephews? Turn them against their non-Bahá’í family? Remember this was a time of Moonies, Scientologists and Charles Manson. So I began to investigate the truth behind the Bahá’í Faith! I phoned several groups who helped people escape from such religious sects. Although none knew of the Faith, neither had they heard anything against it. I felt a little easier and more curious about what it was that had attracted Judy, caused her to look further into the beliefs, to look beyond the ‘flowery’ language and strange practices! I liked what I found. However it was not for me, thank you very much. What? Pray every day, behave with ‘seemly conduct’, understand the un-understandable? Patiently and persistently, Judy fed me with books, asked my opinion, shared hers. She took me along to meet her local Bahá’ís on Skye, and took me to meet Bahá’ís living near me in Sussex. Eventually her patience wore thin as I steadfastly refused to engage. One day she asked what it was that I objected to as I seemed to agree with all the principles of the Faith. “Ah, but I could not live up to the standard required.” I replied. “I can’t see myself praying every day and reading the Writings twice a day!” “Try it for a week” she suggested, so I did. At the end of that week, we were meeting up at my mother’s house. Judy was on the case immediately. “Well how did it go?” she asked. “Ok” I said, “It was quite a nice thing to do really.” “So what’s stopping you now?” she asked, quite forcibly!!! I shrugged. “Oh just sign the card” she said. “You can always leave if you don’t like it!” So I did, and I haven’t.

“You have been brainwashed!” said my husband and brother. “It’s communism!”, wailed my mother. “It’s just her midlife crisis!” said my teenage children. It is not until recently that I realised what it was. I had been brainwashed…by the fountains, rivers and oceans of the Word of God. Not only brainwashed either but heart-washed as well by the living waters of the love of God. How blessed and eternally grateful I am. Thank you Judy.

_____________

Previous to finding the Bahá’í Faith I had a very strong connection to the teachings of Jesus, starting with Sunday school at age 6 and continuing to attend the local Church of Scotland until early teens. At that age I began asking questions that were never answered to my satisfaction and I stopped going to services. I never lost my love for the teachings though. At 15 I was involved in a nasty car accident, the result of which, and recovery from, re-confirmed my belief that there is far more to this life and beyond. I tried the Church again but still could not find the answers to the questions I still had. Nor did I find them in looking at other branches of Christianity and other religions. I stopped looking, although I briefly attended church again when my first child was born. Judy’s introducing me to the Bahá’í Faith in my 40s ended the quest for answers to my questions, though I continue to search for deeper understanding in the Teachings and Writings of this glorious Revelation.

________________

Diana MacPherson

Scotland, June 2020